Adapting to the American lifestyle took me some time. So very many things change when you leave India and move abroad. At first there is the attraction, the hope for wealth, the idea that your children (future children in my case) will have a better life, the clean air, the feeling of being independent. You are excited and proud to be telling your family and friends that your husband got a transfer and that you will be moving to Los Angeles, California and that is exactly what I did!
Upon arrival all those things seemed clear, I was 25 years old, newly married (only 6 months ago) and California seemed so wonderful. After the initial part of settling into our house and me getting a driver’s license. My husband started work. My daily life changed so very much, the adjustment was torturous.
Even though driving in the US was a lot more convenient, less risky and safer…the traffic was still almost just as bad as Delhi in the rush hours and everything was so far. My husband had to leave for the office at 5:30 am. to be there by 8:30 am. A huge change from his working hours in India and this meant that I too had to get up very early, prepare his breakfast, his lunch and send him on his way on time.
My daily routine after that was to have do my asanas for an hour and then have my chai and breakfast. I would then get on Skype and speak with my parents back in Calcutta. It helped with the loneliness that was everywhere in the US. I mean, basically, I was alone all day. Sometimes our conversations lasted an hour, sometimes longer, but that would usually keep me busy until 9 am. I would then start cleaning, on Mondays I dusted, on Tuesdays I vacuumed, on Wednesdays I did laundry, I would vary the tasks from Monday to Friday. It helped with motivating myself because to do all these things without any help felt like a monstrous task at the beginning.
I have to admit that a Monday-Friday schedule was quite a respite from daily life in Calcutta. Back home, my husband would work 6 days a week and long shifts. Having Saturdays and Sundays off was a welcomed change. We would use this time to explore our new home, try new foods (sushi had become my favorite even though it took me a lot of courage to put raw fish in my mouth for the first time).
I had to get used to driving on the opposite side of the road. Which was actually not so difficult. Our brains have a tendency to adapt to this type of change very quickly, it almost came naturally except when I was the only car on the road, I sometimes had to think twice before I chose a lane. I would often go to the mall. I would grocery shop. It was so convenient to be able o purchase everything I needed in one store. Back home, I had to go to the gully, the different markets, and would still be missing things to complete a recipe.
On Tuesday, I would skip the mall and go to the Temple. I met some other Indian women there and joined their kitty parties every Thursday afternoon. It always reminded me a bit of home.
I found that once I got used to the quiet and loneliness, I felt I was experiencing that feeling of independence that I wanted when I left home. I can’t really say that life abroad is better but I can say that it is different. There are so many pros and cons. For instance, I miss the constant disturbances in my home (doorbells, friends and family stopping-by for an unexpected visit), I miss help with my daily chores to maintain my home, I miss the constant chatter and yarning with my sisters and parents. But, conversely, here I love the open air, the outings, trips and restaurants that my husband and I can now afford both moneywise and timewise. I have a new appreciation for alone-time and I have started my masters degree. Like I said, it is not better, it is just very different.
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